Moving On
by BreathtakinglyMundane
Summary: Regina re-evaluates her life when Robin chooses Marian. Set after the Season finale. OutlawQueen
1. Chapter 1

**AN**: I'm just so torn up about Regina, she DOES NOT deserve this! Cut her some slack already and yes this will end with OutlawQueen. Enjoy! (It will be somewhat of a slow burn though.)

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Once Upon A Time or any of its brilliant characters. No way Regina would've had her heart basically shredded again on my watch!

The moments following the reveal that Marian is back are the hardest for Regina. It's the time when the darkness within her threatens to overpower the light that flickers deep within her. She quietly slips out of the diner and walks home.

She wonders whether it's all been worth it, holding back her magic, using it for good… changing, only to be brought full circle to the pain and heartbreak she tried to escape.

There's a moment where her life flashes before her eyes like she's dying and suddenly she's exhausted. She realises that no matter how much the pain wracks her, she simply can't go through all that again no matter how resilient her heart might be. She decides to go down another road, not only for herself but also for the only love she has left in her life, Henry.

* * *

Two weeks after and Regina is sure that doing the right thing is truly not always the easiest. Despite their short time together, almost everything seems to remind her of Robin. The swings at the playground where they took Roland the very evening before Marian's return; the corner booth in Granny's where they played footsie under the table; the sidewalk outside the library where he first took her hand in public; and last but certainly not least the fireplace.

She knows she can't go on like this, the constant pain can't be good for her and she makes a decision.

"Hey Mom," Henry greets her as she rises from the stool she was sitting in at Granny's Diner. She pulls him into a fierce hug and tugs him toward the door,

"Let's go for a ride." She says and he follows looking like he really wants to ask her something so she helps him, "yes?" An eyebrow lifts accompanying her question.

"Where are we going? I thought we were going to have lunch here?" He looks at her with something more than curiosity, she briefly thinks that he senses what she's about to tell him; he's always been quite perceptive.

"You'll see," she says smiling at him as they reach her car.

"I wanted us to have sometime really by ourselves," Regina says while she grabs the basket Henry had not seen when he was entering the car. "Henry, please bring the blanket," she asks.

"Besides," she continues while tucking a strand of hair behind her eye, "there's something important I need to tell you." She worries her lip and Henry's curiosity is piqued.

"We haven't had a picnic since…" he trails off as he looks up searching his mind for the last time, "well it was before Emma I think." She smiles at him and draws him into her side, her arm around his shoulder.

They have turkey sandwiches, juice and apple pie for dessert.

"I missed your baking Mom," Henry says a bit sheepishly. With things finally settling down he was slowly realising how much of her he missed after their year apart; especially the simple things like this, how she knew his favourite spot in the woods to picnic. "So what is the important thing you want to tell me?"

Regina feels her heart clench as she looks at his expectant face and begins to question whether she should go through with her plan.

"Well, I know I never told you this but I once left Storybrooke… it's the same day I got you," she says as she reaches up to brush his hair across his forehead a smile on her face.

"Right now though I'm going to have to leave again," she says an impossibly sad look in her eyes. "This time I'll be gone for a while," she finishes.

"But Mom you can't go, I just got back, well my memories did and we're safe and…" he's all but pleading.

"Henry I just need some time away from everything here, it won't be forever, I just can't stay right now." She can't tell him that her heart is broken and she needs time to heal away from the constant reminders of what she lost.

"All I've ever done has either been driven by orders from my mother or revenge and I just need… I need to figure out what to do now and being here isn't helping."

"Mom is this because of Robin?" he asks knowing it can't have possibly been easy on her; having her heartbroken the very next time she put it out there. The pain that flashes in her eyes is all the answer he needs.

"Yes and no," she replies. "The important thing is that I'm doing this for me." She pats the blanket next to her and motions for him to come closer, her arms open to envelope him in an embrace.

"Now as much as I'd love to have you with me, you've been through too much to move anywhere so soon. You need to stay here with Emma, go to school; you know do normal things. You need to be with family now."

"But you're my family too," he says squeezing her tighter as if he's scared she'll float away right then and there if he doesn't. She presses a kiss to the top of his head and says," you can always visit me when I get settled wherever I am."

"I'm so sorry Henry, I don't want to leave you either but it's for the best right now." Her heart clenches as she hears him draw in a shaky breath against her but she knows that this is only way she can patch up her battered heart.

She vows that she won't put her heart at risk again, if not for her own sake then for Henry; he needs her and she won't let him down.

She was weak and she had suffered for it but not again; she should have heeded her mother's words, _love is weakness._ Both times her heart had been broken she was good, or at the least trying to be; maybe love like that simply wasn't in her destiny.

It was high time she found what really was…

* * *

**AN**: Let me know what you think J


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okay so please don't hate me. Simply put life got in the way but I'm back and I promise to update as soon as I can, don't want canon coming and messing up my story… Before I blab forever, enjoy. All the usual disclaimers apply.**

Somewhere warm. That's where she'd go… somewhere warm.

Regina, Snow, Charming and Emma were in Snow and Charming's apartment seated around their dining table. Regina held baby Neal in her arms and cooed to him every so often. Emma couldn't help but imagine this is how she must have been with Henry when he was a baby.

She quickly looked down as the guilt that had plagued her since she brought back Marian reared its ugly head again. She wondered how she could have ruined the life of the woman who had loved and cherished their son when she couldn't, who'd done her damndest to change…

Snow looked at her daughter feeling for her, knowing just how she felt. It wasn't an easy thing knowing you had ruined someone's happiness.

"So Regina, you were going to say something?" Charming prompted, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. Regina reluctantly tore her attention away from the baby not really wanting to say it but she knew she needed to.

Snow looked at her as she sipped tea from her cup, a feeling of dread settling in her tummy as Regina took a deep breath.

"I'm leaving Storybrooke," she said, her voice low. On any other day the looks of shock on their faces would have drawn at least a smirk out of her but not today.

"But Regina you can't leave," Snow started but the pained look on Regina's face as she focused on her cut her off. "What about Henry?" she asked softly reaching out a hand to grasp Regina's.

"I can't stay Snow," she started, brown eyes glistening as so many emotions flashed through them; guilt, pain regret, _determination._ "Maybe he can come visit when I'm all settled," she said the statement, really a question as she looked to Emma who simply nodded. "I need to leave for some time, it's time I focused on me for a change."

"Do you have anywhere in mind yet?" Charming asked, the shock having been replaced with curiosity.

"No not really, I was thinking I might go somewhere warm, maybe it'll be just the change I need." As she had been thinking about where to go, she'd thought of the times she'd been happiest and she found that she could associate each and every one with warmth. So it'd seemed the right thing to choose somewhere warm to go.

"Why aren't you taking Henry with you?" Emma asked, finally having the courage to let the words out.

"He needs to settle down; he's been through so much already; Neverland, New York… He needs to be normal and he needs his family, well most of it. I can't go dragging him across the country with me, it wouldn't be fair."

Emma visibly relaxes because she's sure that she would not have put up a fight if Regina had wanted to take him. The _sheer _weight of the guilt she felt made her throat close up sometimes when she was talking to her.

She couldn't even explain the tears fighting to pour out because Regina hadn't chewed her out or anything. She just seemed so tired; drained. Emma felt like a veritable wraith; seeming to have succeeded where the first one could not.

Regina is looking at Emma with a puzzled look on her face; sometimes the way that the blonde underestimated her love for Henry shocked her. She rolled her eyes not able to keep her irritation with the blonde safely tucked away for even that.

Emma smirked, _well at least there's a bit of her left_ she thought having caught sight of the familiar action.

Across town at the docks, Henry was with Hook or _Killian_ as his Mom now insisted on calling him. They had become close ever since they started spending time together before his memories returned.

First thing in the morning today, he had asked to go see him and Emma had allowed him to; understanding that what he needed was not her in that moment. He needed just a friend.

Hook was teaching him the different types of knots today. The focus he needed to get them right was helping clear his mind. He didn't want his Mom to leave but he also realised he couldn't be so selfish as to beg her to stay. He knew she would if he really, sincerely asked her to.

He had been looking forward to telling her all about New York and making up for the lost time.

As he finally mastered the knot what he had to do was suddenly very clear to Henry.

"Mom, do you wanna go to Mary Margaret's for dinner?" he casually asked, trying not to give himself away.

**AN Numero 2: I know it's short but I promise the next will be longer. **


End file.
